Leaving New York, never easy….

Leaving New York never easy, I saw the light fading out. I searched furiously for a quote to reflect how I was feeling in that moment. Sitting in my Astoria apartment surrounded by scattered vestiges of my city life. A life I was falling in love with but was now being evicted from.

Never have a child in a third world country. Never. The developed world loves to throw you out when your time is up, filthy savages we are. I guess REM will have to do. But really, the only song I could think of to reflect my gloominess was by a known new york, post punk, indie collective I was avoiding like the plague, since I’d fallen madly in love with one of the founding members and he turned out to be a raging, emotionally abusive, narcissist vampire who ruined my life.  So annoying. I won’t reveal his name since I prefer to give him less attention than he deserves. Though he does love it, I feel like he almost senses when someone is referring to him, I can see the feathers preen in my mind’s eye, reveling in his scorched ear lobes. Asshole.

Do I sound angry? Good, I’m pissed. No one should be forced to leave New York City, especially after the experience I had. I had the ultimate Big Apple experience, the kind every poor sod dreams of when they step on these city streets for the first time. That Jay Z song ruined everything, it is a concrete jungle yes but dreams aren’t made there, you bring them with you. Soon however you realize that in this jungle, everyone wants to rip them apart. DUH. IT’S A JUNGLE. Your dreams are your cubs you’ve burrowed under the ground, you should only let them out when you know it’s safe but always be ready to dive into another trench, dream cubs tucked in your pouch or whatever. I let mine run free, and here I am back to black….or cerulean rather, like the Caribbean Sea, because that’s where i am, life-marooned like Crusoe…

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